Introvert: Challenged

I'm an introvert.  And my introvert tendency to hide out is being challenged right now.  (Read more about it here.)  Up the street live three little girls who are obsessed--like, really obsessed--with my dog.  And they are not shy about it.  I made the "mistake" of saying that if they saw him in the back yard they could come play with him.  Well now they ride their bikes back and forth in front of my house until they spot him outside.  When one of them does, they holler to all the neighborhood kids, "Sonny Boy is out!" and little feet come running.

Seeing one of these girls in the backyard for the first time hanging out with my dog was a bit disconcerting, but I adjusted.

This evening after dinner, I heard the little bike breaks in the driveway and the feet running to the backyard to visit Sonny, and I was okay with it because Sonny Boy was a little restless and needed variety.  But I was surprised to hear a little "tap tap" on the front door.  Peeking outside to discover the source of the noise, I found 4 year old Riley standing there smiling, her big brown eyes curious and her bangs askew.  She looked at me, saying nothing, and then stepped inside.  I watched her scan the family room.  Judging it based on the few times she'd seen it she turned to me and asked, "Where is your dad?"

"My husband?  He's at school."

"Oh, my dad is at work."

She stood with her hands clasped, twiddling her fingers, big brown eyes observing the space around her.  She looked back at me and I looked at her and we continued just looking until I heard another voice from behind me.

"Where is your dad?"

Riley's twin, Reagan, had come looking for her.

"My husband is at school."

The third sister soon joined, and the girls gathered in my family room, twiddling their thumbs and looking at me until their mom called them home for bed.  They scampered out, waving over their shoulders as they hopped on their bikes.

I waved back and shut the door.

My introvert was conflicted.  I was not supposed to take delight that three little girls love to be in my home.  But I finally had to admit that my "mistake" of inviting them to play with the dog was no mistake at all.  These cute girls are forcing me out--forcing me to be friendly, to have an open door and an open heart.

And to always be fully dressed.

PS-- One week until my birthday!!!  Eeek!

{Gems} Challah, Pumpkins, and Gregory Peck

My weekend came to a close with a wicked sore throat that refuses to recognize defeat.  I, however, also refuse to recognize defeat, and while I may hole up in bed for a bit, I will come out conqueror--because my birthday is next week, and I will not be sick on my birthday.  

Determined as I am to get better, I need to revamp my attitude and recognize some gems in my life. 

This week, I'm grateful for loyal friends with a great bedside manner and a window sharing a gorgeous October sky.

For red leaves, tractor rides, and pumpkin patches with white pumpkins.

For haunted corn mazes and a reminder that "lost" is an adventure.

For a date night tradition begun long ago with my best friend that always gives my week a boost.

And for homemade Challah with marion blackberry jam, eaten while I crush on Gregory Peck all over again during Roman Holiday.

Here's to hoping I can kick this cold in the head so hard that it'll leave mine.

Honeycrisp Tender Mercy Apples

Sometimes God sends uncomfortable tender mercies so that you have to grow.

The hubs and I have some woes.  I've gotten comfortable with being alone all day long, and as a result, any unplanned human interaction totally puts me in a panic.  Do I remember how to converse?? Gjdlsdoifjds flasjfldskjfr lkee!!  Preston's woe is that he thinks he is going to die.  This program is killing me slowly, he texted me earlier.  So, in an attempt to ignore our woes, I sat on our front step on a warm, overcast afternoon eating ice cream and reading a brochure about fun things to do in Indiana.  Sonny Boy lay just in front of me, stretched out in the cool grass.  He had been such a good dog, minding so well and not chasing the large Schwan's truck that kept driving by.  

A mother and her little girl walked past, holding hands and talking about her day at school.  In an instant, Sonny was on his feet and racing across the lawn to the little girl.  He let out a bark, which scared her.  She whimpered and scampered up into her mom's arms as I ran after the dog, apologizing and explaining that he really is sweet and very friendly.  The mom gave a half smile and kept walking with her daughter in her arms. Looking at the dog, I snapped my fingers and pointed inside, taking my hand to his backside as he walked.

I tell you what, I think those spanks hurt me far worse than they did him.  (Already he is curled up in my lap again.)  The poor thing just loves to play, and whimpers every time we pass another dog on a walk who won't stop to say hello.  I wanted to explain that to the mother and little girl.  My dog with all the pureness in his heart just wants to be friends.

So as we got in the house, the humbled dog hid underneath the couch and I flopped on top of it, deciding then and there that I deserved a good cry.  Forget ice cream and trips to the zoo that husband doesn't have time for anyway.  Life was stupid.  I prepped myself to let out some hearty tears when, of course, the doorbell rang.  Who was it but the Schwan's man.  After our brief but friendly conversation, I returned to the couch still in the mood for some emotion.

I sat there for a second, just thinking, when the doorbell rang again.  Wondering what the Schwan's man could have forgotten, I opened the door to face our sweet elderly neighbor named Shirley. Immediately she placed two apples and an envelope in my hand, jumping into a story about her cats and how they scratched her and these are her band-aids and it happened when her husband got kidney stones removed and so he can't help their handicap son move to a new place on Friday no Saturday and she didn't want to come inside because of the dog but she'd be by with munsee apples when those were ripe but for now enjoy the honeycrisp and sorry for your time and thank you bye now.

She walked away, her body tipping side to side as she adjusted for the pain in her hips, and I quietly shut the door, taking in the moment.

Apparently, a good cry is not what I needed.  I needed some homegrown honeycrisp apples, a sweet note, positive human interaction, and a reminder that we are surrounded by good.

How many times have I walked by Shirley's home and wondered how she was doing, but let my shyness get the best of me?  This tender mercy encouraged me to be more brave, to get out and meet people and let them welcome me into their lives.  Uncomfortable, yes, but the good kind.

So, friends, have a happy, uncomfortable, tender weekend.

{DIY} TV Stand Facelift

Good morning, friends!  It's a good day because there are only 16 days until my birthday.  :)

The previous residents of the house we're renting left us their entertainment center.  It matched our furniture alright, but it darkened the room a bit more than I liked.  Since overhead lighting is not a "thing" here in Indiana, I'm doing anything I can to brighten up the rooms.  So I opted for the nontraditional and painted this thing ivory.  And we actually really like it.  I always forget to take good before pictures, so the only one I have is after we've taken off the doors and hardware and I've sanded it down.

And voila!  A bright entertainment center in just a few hours.  (Although do you see what I mean with the rooms being so dark?  It is "lamp light mood" at all hours.)  I'm still considering adding some hand-painted detail to the knobs and door corners--maybe during the depressing winter months.

I hope you all are having a fantastic week!  We're looking forward to some doggy play dates and time enjoying the change of the season.  Until next time!

{Dear Martha Anne} Just Throw Away the List

Dear Martha Anne,

As you well know, I have a love affair with lists.  Crossing off an item is as fulfilling to me as a cookie is for the cookie monster.  I get giddy over my planner.

Last Thursday, I had planned a beautiful day, where I'd be pushed, uplifted, and fulfilled doing things I enjoy.  I am taking an online photography class so that I will finally understand how to make the most out of my camera.  I am blogging.  I am reading multiple books, doing art, taking walks with the dog, baking.  Not everyday is this idyllic, but this one day was supposed to be.  I had a bunch of little tasks around the house that I'd been neglecting that I was pumped to finally knock out.

That morning started out as usual with exercise and then tidying the house.  It changed abruptly when, while making the bed, I found a flea on our white bedspread.

Discouraged doesn't quite describe my reaction.

This place here we call Indiana is far too welcoming to crawling things.  Fleas love this place.  And we have a dog.

So darn it my whole day changed as I stripped the bed, pulled up all the rugs and anything the dog may have touched around the house and threw it into the laundry room.  This picture does not quite represent the pile of things to be washed.

Laundry started, I proceeded to vacuum the whole house and all of our furniture, swept and mopped all the hard floors, made an appointment with the vet, and then sprayed the house with Raid.  During a long walk with the dog to escape the toxic spray, I bounced between frustrated and amused with life's practical jokes.

I remembered a story I heard a long time ago about a mother who, at the end of the day, cried in her husband's arms in despair.  She had been so busy with her two little kids all day that she did not get to a single thing on her list.  He held her and then in optimism said, "Well, that's an easy one.  Just throw away the list!"

While walking the dog, I decided that this was one of those days.  The list would be tossed.  The day was spent.  Backtracking would be useless.  And the great thing about it all was that my usual house cleaning on Friday had been done a day early.  My weekend had just gotten better.

So, Dear Heart, this week give yourself a break and toss your list should the need arise.

Also, guess what...19 days until my birthday!  Gosh I love birthdays.

Cheers!

Me

their eyes were watching god - zora neale hurston

"Some people could look at a mud-puddle and see an ocean with ships.  But Nanny belonged to that other kind that loved to deal in scraps.  [Janie's] Nanny had taken the biggest thing God ever made, the horizon--for no matter how far a person can go the horizon is still way beyond you--and pinched it in to such a little bit of a thing that she could tie it about her granddaughter's neck tight enough to choke her.  She hated the old woman who had twisted her so in the name of love."

Zora Neale knows humanity--knows it well.  I read this passage, and instead of hating the grandmother like Janie, I felt sad for her.  Because, unlike Janie, I know the grandmother's sacrifice: that as a slave, she was beaten and raped and driven from her only known home for carrying her abuser's child.  And that defined her, and made her scared, made her to cling to precious things, to choke out dreams because dreams are dangerous for a slave.  The grandmother protected Janie by choking her dreams, and Janie hates.

If you haven't yet, read this book.

I'm Back

Well hello again.  It's been awhile.  Thanks for hanging in there during my break.

Last night, as our third and final set of visitors stepped out our front door, a Purdue student turned to me with a smile and said, "It's rough, being an MBA widow.  Good luck."  Busy has definitely made itself at home in our lives.  Preston put in a 17 hour day on Friday alone.  I've learned that if I want to do or see anything around town during this first year of Preston's schooling, I'm going to have to make friends or do it on my own.  Preston will have to rely on my stories to discover the charm of this place we call home.

But despite Preston's 60 hour weeks and my new role as "widow"

this is the life.

The days are cool and sunny, the smell of autumn everywhere, and I may roam the cornfields at leisure to soak it all in.  With a beautiful dog who loves us to death, practical jokes that leave us mad but laughing, a t.v. antenna that picks up football, friendly neighbors with whom to share homemade bread, health, great future prospects, and moments together made more special in their rarity, we. are. blessed.

Enjoy our recent captured moments:

Have a good week, my friends.

~K