exercised
showered
cleaned up breakfast
unloaded the dishwasher
started laundry
let the dog out
did my hair and make-up
painted my toe nails
super glued a broken mirror that had been waiting for days to be fixed
and entertained the thought, "I'm going to start a small business."
I brainstormed product, marketing, creative angles, colors. From task to task around the quiet house I floated on excitement. Then the baby woke up with pink eye and I thought, "Or not the business."
I do this constantly, swaying back and forth between lighting the torch for my own ventures and blanketing myself completely in the demands of being a mother to a toddler. My dreams ignite usually within the comforts of a clean home and a healthy family (and, let's be honest, a sleeping kid). Then one of us--and soon the rest of us--gets sick or injured or sad, and I fall behind on dinner prep and I didn't walk the dog and I feel so tired and I just want to watch Gilmore Girls and suddenly I could care less about my creative business. And I usually end up thinking, "How the heck does Joanna Gaines do it?"
My husband--awesome dude that he is--gives only encouragement. The only thing he asks is that I commit to my dreams and stop with the swaying. (And, to be transparent, to decide on a dream. I have a few.) You don't want to know how many blog post drafts I have sitting around, just waiting for a loving moment of focus to dot those i's, cross those t's, and get that cherry on top. (A real cherry. Maraschino who?)
My husband--awesome dude that he is--gives only encouragement. The only thing he asks is that I commit to my dreams and stop with the swaying. (And, to be transparent, to decide on a dream. I have a few.) You don't want to know how many blog post drafts I have sitting around, just waiting for a loving moment of focus to dot those i's, cross those t's, and get that cherry on top. (A real cherry. Maraschino who?)
This post doesn't get a cherry. (Or an edit. This is raw, y'all.) I don't even have a conclusion. I don't have a wise crack or a lesson learned or a sweet story reminding me how it will all work out. Instead, I'm writing this free form, mid sway. So, internets, what say you?
And, since this is a blog, a photo or few:
And, since this is a blog, a photo or few:
Beautifully said. I completely relate to this, it's like kids suck the creative right out of me. But seriously, it's hard to figure out how to be yourself and be a mom. I take comfort in the scripture "whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it". Someday I will find my life :). Miss you friend!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing that scripture, Julia! As much as we learn about such concepts, it's funny how in the moment I need them, I forget them. Hopefully that finding can happen over and over again as the motherhood phases shift!
DeleteI love your blog posts. You are a great writer. Please excuse my sub par writing as I post a comment. I had similar desperate cries of "I need to do something I feel is important (outside my child) but I feel too tired and busy to do it." Until I came across a beautiful idea from someone in my ward. You may already do this but I thought I would share just in case. A routine. A written down, followed and structured routine. It can be flexible but not crazy. Not the feed your baby at this time and nap at that time routine but something different. I can share a little of mine as an example. Wake at 630 with baby. From 630-7 feed baby and unload dishwasher. Excersize from 7-730 while Nate eats breakfast and watches baby. 730-8 breakfast and family Scripture study. 8-830 family get ready time. Nate and I take turns showering and watching baby. Get self dressed and baby dressed, hair done. All the way ready by 830. Nate leaves. Reading time from 830-9. 9-10 is finish up cleaning up kitchen after breakfast, meal prep, look at cleaning chart, and if I am really tired I will rest on the couch while reading to baby. 10-1030 snack time and baby goes down for nap for 2-3 hours and this is free time to do personal reading, calling stuff and cleaning that can't be done with a trailing baby. Then it is my time to get my projects done (business work for you). Baby wakes have lunch and then a dedicated hour to playing with baby. I like to have "out of house" time here so we don't go stir crazy. Then around 3 is another hour of my time. Do other cleaning. Work on projects and I don't feel bad for handing baby things to do to entertain herself because I have scheduled time with her. Then from 4-5 ish is baby time again. After that is dinner prep, family dinner and clean up, family time and then put baby to bed. Tues evenings are family blog time where I work on our family blog. Anyway each evening is dedicated to something (since husband is usually doing HW). This is so I don't miss doing something I want to do during the week that may not be highest priority. Otherwise I will never get to it. Anyway each day has its own thing that gets done. So this comment has to be your longest one ever, but I know you can start a business if it is part of your routine. Your baby will pick up on your routine too and it will be easier to make it flow after a while. Also the routine can change based on certain day events and chuncks of time like baby time, or you time can be moved around. There is flexibilty. Write down your routine. Print it out. Something. It helps. Ok, I'm done. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteDanielle, this is so great, thank you for sharing! I especially love your morning routine and the evidence of teamwork you and Nate have. You two are awesome. It sounds like little A is pretty good with entertaining herself! You have definitely encouraged me. I might even have to schedule in some time weekly at the public library in the evening, to make sure I actually get out and get working ;) Miss you, friend!
DeleteYou go girl! Or just meander. It's all good :) The photos tell the story...I love them! And I agree that your writing alone brings sunshine to the world...or at least to your readers.
ReplyDeleteDreams are wonderful...thank you for sharing yours.